Showtime. What are you going to do? Are you going to go to work? Or stay in bed, chasing oblivion. Guess what?

We’re fresh out of oblivion.

The Economy will do fine without you – but how long will you survive without the usual giant horn of frozen caramel latte and the five thousand other pieces of bullshit you have smushed together so you can point at it and croak ‘That’s my ..life?’

Now, now, all this drama and we’re not even out the door yet.

Find out how it could all have been different. Find out how to reclaim your life by becoming a lethal kickboxing, chess champion. Pioneer new trends in global lovemaking, join tan elite band trillionaire poet/pastry chef/mountineers. Just go

BAFTA and Perrier Award-winning comedian and star of Black Books, Dylan Moran, brings his brand new show to Alexandra Palace Theatre in May 2027 for two nights only.

Age recommendation: 16+